Trust Someone You Just Met

Not trusting people has many negative consequences. You end up isolating yourself from the world and having a paranoid attitude towards others. However, trusting someone you have just met isn’t always the right choice. We could bring into our life a person who does not deserve it.

Immediately trusting someone you barely know has become a major problem. Especially because of the ease with which one can meet new people using the various means offered by new technologies. In the virtual world, more than in any other dimension, the other is a complete stranger. Including when you provide us with information about him / her.

Likewise, in the real world, close ties with strangers often develop in a short time. Sometimes it is the beginning of a beautiful friendship or even a relationship. Others, it can be the beginning of a nightmare. The question we must ask ourselves is how to know when we can trust a person we have just met.

Instinct is not that reliable

According to a study conducted by researchers from the University of New York and Darkmouth, the brain takes just three seconds to decide whether a person is trustworthy or not. It is based on purely physical parameters. If a person has prominent cheekbones and high eyebrows, they are considered more reliable.

This inference is worked out by a very archaic area of ​​our brain. In prehistoric times, a face with sunken cheeks probably meant hunger and deprivation; and those who are hungry are considered less reliable. This parameter is no longer valid in today’s world, but has remained stored in our brain.

It has also been found that people tend to trust someone they have just met if the person in question bears some physical resemblance to an acquaintance. This too is a weak and very misleading “method”. The famous instinct therefore has numerous limitations. It is impossible to know through intuition whether a person is trustworthy or not. It is also true, however, that experience usually educates instinct: it does not free us from mistakes, but makes us commit less.

Trusting someone is the result of a process, not intuition

It is one thing to have good faith, it is quite another to give the keys of our life to someone we have just met. Trust is something that is built over time, not the fruit of a moment.

As a general rule, people with extreme behaviors do not usually inspire confidence. Those who immediately give us no chance or those who from the beginning present themselves as an open book. And not even those who show excessive interest not suited to the phase of the relationship or those who try too hard and artificially to be appreciated by us.

It is equally important to know the environment from which an individual comes before starting a path that leads us to trust him. It is not enough to see and evaluate his behavior outside the context in which he lives. It is good to meet his friends, co-workers, family and all the people who have an ongoing relationship with him. This will offer us a more realistic view of who we are in front of.

Trusting someone: the signs to take into account

If you are unsure whether you can trust someone, observe their behavior as neutral as possible. This exercise of prudence and patience will give us useful information that will allow us to make the right decision. In these cases, consider the following:

• The details and the appreciations. These elements are positive when they come from someone we already know and have a connection with. If they come from a stranger, they can be a means to approach us or to manipulate us.

• Do they trust others? Usually, people who trust others are more trustworthy. It is said that “The wolf of bad conscience as a work thinks”. What we see in others is a projection of ourselves. Pay close attention to how the person judges others.

• Bewitching attitudes. This is the main characteristic of many manipulators and even psychopaths.

• Contradictions and intolerances. People often reveal a lot about themselves when faced with frustration. You should be very careful about how they behave when things don’t go according to their wishes.

In conclusion, doubting who you barely know is a sound principle. It is preferable to rely on time to get the right information. If the results are positive, the relationship will advance and trust will grow in a mutual way, consolidating the relationship.