Things Must Be Accepted, Let Go Or Changed

Our reality, our life cycle and daily life are inscribed in a circle that requires perfect harmony for everything to proceed. For this flow to be perfect, you need to understand that things must be accepted, let go or changed. Any kind of resistance is an obstacle in our path, any denial of the truth is an extra blindfold.

A very present aspect of current psychology is the importance of learning to let go, making changes and closing cycles. On the surface, all of this seems easy and advantageous, but it hides a reality that we cannot ignore. Not everything in our life can be changed and we cannot “uproot” ourselves from certain places, from certain realities, it is not all white or all black.

We may not get along with our boss at all, but we love our work and the relationship we have with colleagues. We can have a very complicated relationship with our parents, marked by strong ups and downs, but we do not believe that we have to permanently sever our bond with them.

The core of these issues shows a very clear concept: we live in a scenario in which gray colors, intermediate blues, stormy mornings and bright afternoons abound. There are aspects of our life that take away our calm and sometimes even personal balance. However, everything that envelops these fluctuating hotbeds of adversity is not significant.

How could we deal with these situations to stop experiencing “half happiness”? Now we will give you the answers.

There are things that are accepted, but first you have to make a change within yourself

Nowadays, in this world where consumerism often invites us to get rid of things with a certain frequency to replace boring objects with stimulating ones and old ones with new ones, it is difficult to include concepts such as acceptance in our daily life. Things to accept always instill a sense of defeat in many people, a certain feeling that makes them say “I have no other choice …”.

Positive psychology and Acceptance and Compromise Therapy (ACT) itself help us to understand the facts in another way. The first thing to do is to learn how to foster real psychological flexibility. Think, for example, of a heather branch clinging to a mountain often hit intensely by the wind. It does not break because it is flexible, it is not like stiff and stubborn tree branches on which atmospheric agents always end up winning.

Now try to visualize a mother obsessed with control, with whom you have always had a complicated relationship. There comes a time when you have to ask yourself this question: “What do I do, do I go away from her forever or do I accept and shut up?”. Acceptance therapy will never tell you to succumb, to let yourself be defeated by pitfalls and negative influences. Let’s tackle the subject further.

Strategies according to Acceptance and Compromise Therapy

According to the Acceptance and Compromise Therapy, suffering is part of life. However, it is necessary to learn to manage it, to understand it and to transform it. If you practice psychological rigidity, you will only feed a vicious circle in which you will lose the ability to freely choose your behavior with respect to everyday problems.

• Learning to recognize our emotions is good. Accepting does not mean giving up, but understanding what is happening and how we feel when we are with someone or do something in particular.

• It is necessary to learn to live in the present. Waiting for things to change, for others to act as we would like, means wasting time. Our “cop” mother won’t change, our “pimp” boss won’t get emotionally intelligent next month.

• Once we have a full awareness of how things are and that certain people will not change their way of being or their behavior, we will accept all of this as it is.

• Now, accepting it does not mean approving the treatment we receive. We must remember our values, our principles and our needs in order to create a true compromise with these individuals.

By applying these principles, we will gradually succeed in creating healthy distances, thanks to which, words will no longer hurt. Others can continue to live in their turbulent altars, because it will no longer be a problem for us. We know who we are and how much we are worth.

Things that change, things that are let go

We know there are things to accept because we have learned to manage their impact on our life. Because, after all, the other aspects that surround us are not important, so we can continue to flow, to advance and to build true happiness.

However, there are moments in our life cycle when we consider each cartridge precious, when the breath runs out and I resist for a while longer have led us into a dead end. These are hard and difficult moments, in which only the brave know what is the right thing to do: let go, change the air, life, scenario.

Closing one door to open a different one is never a mistake. Of course, happiness is never guaranteed when we make a change; however, the worst failure is stagnating where nothing grows but disappointment, where our self-esteem disintegrates to become a muffled cry, a death that achieves nothing.

Learn to apply this simple principle in your life where there is no place for fear and indecision: things must be accepted, let go, or change.

Images courtesy of Sonia Kosh