The Second Chances: A Good Decision Only For Some Couples
You will surely know a few couples who broke up and then got back together more than once. They try, but in the end those second chances they give themselves never seem to work. The second possibility thus becomes the third, then the fourth, the fifth, until the two give up and stop trying. Perhaps, continuing to insist is not the right choice for them.
Second chances are not a good alternative for all couples. This happens because very often they bring with them too much grudge, unresolved problems and other circumstances that, no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to completely overcome.
Quite often, giving yourself another chance works very well, it can even improve the relationship. But this only happens when the two partners really know how to take advantage of the time they spent apart. And this doesn’t happen in all couples, so the most common thing is that, after a breakup, the relationship doesn’t work anymore.
Second chances usually don’t work
Why don’t second chances usually work? For a very simple reason: couples get back together for the wrong reasons. These can range from the need to the emptiness they feel after being used to life as a couple for so many years. All of this could mean that they are suffering from emotional dependence, a problem that affects many people today.
If you go back to your partner for the wrong reasons, it is impossible for the relationship to go on in the right way. You gave yourself a second chance because you felt lonely, because you found that you could not carry on with your lives after you broke up. because you couldn’t bear the sadness or couldn’t get over the breakup.
You miss your partner because you are unable to be alone, which is not good. The problems that led you to the breakup will not go away, they will remain there and sooner or later they will come up again. They will plunge you into a toxic relationship once again, in which you will be anything but happy.
You need your partner because you are afraid of loneliness, that feeling of emptiness that invades you when you stretch out an arm in bed and don’t touch anyone, when you have too many shopping bags in your hand and no one takes one, when no one opens your your lips.
Perhaps you have made the grave mistake of placing all your happiness in the hands of your partner, and now you are paying the consequences. You are unable to carry on your life alone, to look beyond your relationship. Believe that without that person you will not have a future, and that there is no hope of moving forward. What you have not yet understood is that you can be happy even by yourself. Indeed, you need to be alone.
If you really take advantage of the time you spend without your partner, you can discover and see your relationship differently, changing your point of view. In this way, you will be able to understand if you did well, if you deserve a second chance or if breaking up was the best choice for both parties.
The soul mate does not exist
Couples who give themselves a second chance and triumph succeed because they have made good use of the time spent without their partner. They took it as a good opportunity to reflect, to see everything from another perspective and think about it before making a bad decision.
These couples know that they are life partners, but also unique beings. They are aware that their happiness does not depend on the other, but on themselves. For this reason, they are not afraid of being alone. They have chosen to share their life with someone else, but they don’t believe that the other person is the engine of their life.
Many people still mistakenly believe that it is necessary to find a person who represents their “half apple”, and for this they feel the deep need to have a relationship. But be careful: we need to live as a couple, not to fall in love. They are two very different things that, at times, make us believe that we are in love with someone, when in reality we just want to have someone by our side.
Giving yourself a second chance also depends on the problems that led to the breakup. Take, for example, the case of infidelity. If a person fails to overcome this terrible betrayal, then trying again will be just a waste of time. Even unwittingly, he would continue to blame his partner for every little thing, would not trust him / her and would doubt everything. And that wouldn’t be good for either of us.
Before giving yourself a second chance, therefore, it is important to solve your problems. Not only for couples, but also for individuals. In this way, you will be able to give a new start to the relationship, without grudges and aware of the fact that you are independent people and that you are not together just because you do not know how to be alone. Only in this way can giving oneself a second chance turn out to be a success.
