The Emotional Spaces: My Favorite Place, Next To You

One of the fundamental rules for enjoying good mental health is to live and interact every day in positive emotional spaces. Those in which the norm is “to be and to let be”, environments in which to grow up feeling free, and at the same time tied to something or someone. Therefore, we should all have a favorite place, a fulfilling scenario in which to flourish and grow emotionally.

Emotional spaces is not a new topic and, however, most of the available bibliography on this topic is related to work contexts. In fact, as you well know, in few places we perceive an intense emotional impact like that of the place where we go to work every day. Within these environments the conditions are not always suitable to make us feel at ease, to facilitate relationships or even to bring out our full potential for the good of the company.

However, we can say that the very interesting topic of the emotional space goes far beyond the working context. To begin with, there is a fundamental aspect that we cannot forget: in any physical space in which one or more people live, a certain climate is created. We all release emotional “radiation” which, added to those of those around us, can give rise to an enriching, hostile or neutral atmosphere.

A curious detail reported by some psychologists is that five minutes are often enough to capture the emotional climate of a home and a family. It is sufficient to observe the expressions, the tone of voice and the communicative style to deduce many things about the family unit.

Even real estate agents, for example, know that it takes 30 seconds in a new house for a person to perceive whether or not they are comfortable. Because sometimes, even if there is no one around us, our brain reacts to very subjective emotional stimuli (brightness, colors, those minute details to which our mind will give a precise emotional value depending on our experiences and of our character).

As you can see, this is an exciting and extensive topic.

Emotional spaces: places that trap the heart

Herman Mellville said that the most enchanting places are not found on maps. The most beautiful spaces are those built by two people who love each other in a mature way, who tear down their walls to expand and expand the space of others, who sow with respect and harvest satisfied, who invest in their own happiness, aware that that internal well-being is it also pours out on the person they love.

Positive and quality emotional spaces, contrary to what we may think, are not easy to build. A mistake that often makes us fail in the attempt is to think that to create an environment in which joy and deep bonds reign, we need to make others happy. A belief of this type, for example, leads us to take a complacent and submissive position in the workplace, not to take the initiative and, thus, not to generate positive changes in the company or organization.

On a relational or family level, we could fall into the error of giving priority to the emotions of others rather than our own, and this sooner or later will generate a climate of silent frustration and bitter dissatisfaction. All this must make us reflect on one aspect: positive emotional spaces require first of all an investment in ourselves.

It is necessary to remember that any negative emotional climate is a battlefield in which both prejudices and the shadow of the ego, categorical judgments, individualism, the evil of haste, offenses and the worst enemy of all enter the scene. , fear.

If all these dimensions normally inhabit us, they will affect our behavior and, consequently, the emotional climate. It is good to understand, therefore, that any positive and fruitful emotional environment will depend on the psychological profile of each of its inhabitants.

How to create generous, positive and strong emotional spaces

Our daily emotional spaces must be our favorite places. Those in which we feel we can be ourselves, those in which we know that everyone will respect our ideas, values ​​and feelings. They are limited places where the emotional ties with the people around us do not have the function of chains or triggers, but are warm winds that swell our sails with hope, making us feel free and full of possibilities.

It is not enough that others love us, they must do it in the right way: and to succeed, to create positive and generous emotional spaces, it is desirable to implement some simple strategies. We present them to you below.

4 secrets to building generous emotional environments

Before focusing on the emotional state of those around us, we must start with ourselves. The elements that have the greatest impact on emotional spaces are personal frustration, irritability or being always on the defensive. It is good to go deep into our emotions and learn to manage them before pouring out our anxieties, shortcomings or anger on others.

• Positive reinforcements. Emotional climate experts report that, on average, people can tolerate one negative comment per day, such as a reprimand, criticism, or recall, as long as they receive at least four positives. On the other hand, the excess of positive words without a measure could cause an uncomfortable feeling of falseness or artificiality.

• Constant, sincere and assertive communication. In addition to positive reinforcement and emotional caresses, a quality emotional environment requires constant dialogue in which the principles of active listening, empathy and assertiveness are applied.

• Ensure a proper connection. In a work environment, we can get along well with many people. However, true quality in a work environment, as well as at home, is the feeling of being in “connection” with others. It is something that goes beyond mere courtesy, and even language. It is complicity.

• Attention and care for the little things, the most delicate details. Any wise look will be able to pay attention to those daily little things that can be illuminated by consideration, gratitude, a “thank you for always being there”, “what would I do without you”, or “my favorite place will always be next to you” .

Take care of these aspects in your daily environments and you will generate much happier emotional spaces.

Images courtesy of Vladimir Kush