Principles Of Reciprocity: What Do They Tell Us?

One of the principles of reciprocity tells us that people have a sixth sense. Thanks to it, we are able to distinguish altruism from selfishness, in particular to recognize those who do something for us out of interest, rather than out of affection or respect. It must be remembered that authentic reciprocity always starts from goodness and spontaneity.

This topic is as interesting as it is complex. For example, we know that the sphere of spirituality is always associated with this dimension, with the noblest thing in the human being. Yet the concept of reciprocity is often analyzed and studied by other disciplines such as marketing and advertising.

An example: telephone companies often develop loyalty programs. According to this approach, the brand aims to create an alliance of an emotional nature with its customers and for this purpose it resorts to the offer of gifts or benefits. They could be mega free, or the ability to switch phones at no additional cost.

The message that reaches the customer is that it is “a gift just for you”, which always leaves a positive sign. This allows you to gain the trust of the customer, who will continue to rely on that operator rather than another. Reciprocity, therefore, is present in most of our social contexts.

The area of ​​our interest to discover the anatomy of reciprocity is that of human relations. Let’s see the main features in the following lines.

The 3 principles of reciprocity

One of the leading experts on the principles of reciprocity is Robert Cialdini. Professor of psychology at the University of Arizona wrote a book entitled Influence: science and practice . In it he analyzes the foundations of human society, those that in a certain way make us noble and highlight the best in us.

The most interesting chapter is undoubtedly the one dedicated to reciprocity. Right here the author reminds us of an important fact: there will always be those who will make use of this dimension in order to manipulate us.

For example, if a person or entity (for example, a telephone company) makes concessions to us, it does not mean that they are unselfish without a reason. In some cases, there is a disguised interest.

It is important to know in depth the principles of authentic reciprocity, the one that starts from goodness and consideration.

1. Intentional spontaneous actions

The Code of Hammurabi, that set of Babylonian laws of ancient Mesopotamia, also collects some principles of morality that suggest that if someone does us a favor, this should then be reciprocated.

We could somehow understand it as the oldest interpretation of reciprocity that we currently know. However, we must say that this term goes far beyond the simple barter of “I give you because you gave me first”. In fact, it implies the following concepts:

• Spontaneity. When someone (known or stranger) chooses to do something for us, they do it spontaneously and voluntarily. It is an action that comes from goodness.

• Intentionality. That spontaneous action always has a purpose and that goal always gives rise to a real benefit to the other person, shaping one of the most important principles of reciprocity.

2. The Power of the Emotional Footprint: We return the favor because we feel grateful and inspired

In principle , human beings are endowed with a sixth sense thanks to which they are able to identify who does something for them in a disinterested way and who for interest. This moral compass in many cases activates the principle of reciprocity.

We imagine that problems arise at work and that we have no choice but to stay in the office an extra hour. Suddenly, a colleague with whom we had never spoken before decides to help us in that given situation. He stays with us and thanks to him we solve the problem.

That gesture leaves an emotional imprint on us; we know it was noble and voluntary. The second of the principles of reciprocity tells us that the deeper the emotional imprint, the more motivated we will feel in wanting to return the favor. And we will do it from the heart, without forcing.

3. Principles of reciprocity: do not quantify what has been received to measure one’s gesture

Another principle of reciprocity says that you don’t have to quantify what has been given to you to calculate what you will offer. Let’s face it: we live in a world where, in general, we carefully analyze what is offered to us so as not to have to repay more than we should.

In some cases, we even experience deep indignation when we see that others do not behave as we do towards them. We expect from those around us at least what we have offered. And if that doesn’t happen, we suffer.

This approach is a grave mistake and a source of profound disappointment. Because reciprocity is not suffering. It is not even sifting through or weighing everything we are given with a scales, much less expecting the same from others. In doing so, we break the principles of reciprocity, as we will be selfish. Let’s think about it.