I Love My Way Of Being: I Don’t Need To Please Everyone
My way of being is genuine and authentic, I don’t need to pretend to be a person I am not just to please everyone. For some time I have practiced the value of personal dignity: I am not a slave to anyone, and I do not need the approval of others to be happy.
Getting to this awareness as soon as possible is essential for living well. It is an aspect that every teenager will struggle with, and that everyone should put into practice to achieve adequate inner balance and the right emotional well-being.
We know that it is not always easy to do this. Inside, we have the feeling that if we don’t all like us, we will never be accepted. But life is not based on the need to please: the really important thing is to know how to respect yourself.
We all feel the need to please our partner’s family, to get along with his friends, to create a good relationship with our co-workers and with the people who are part of our social circles. But the first thing we should all take into consideration is that it is impossible to please the whole world. Each person is unique and with his own personal way of being, of seeing the world, of living life.
I am me, and I accept myself for who I am: I am a gift
You are a gift to yourself, and no one can tell you otherwise. Only you know what you have experienced, what you have overcome. Your way of being is the window that allows you to see the world in all its intensity, freedom and integrity.
Our way of being is not given only by generic definitions such as “extroverted”, “shy” or “introverted”. It is a set of shades given by our experiences, thoughts and what life has taught us. It is given by our failures and our wounds, but also by our successes and by the paths we have walked with joy.
From the beautiful things we draw guidance, and from the ugly we teach. Each experience shapes our way of being, also thanks to the educational style, the values we have embraced and those we have renounced, and the essence of every person we have encountered in life.
Your way of being is the energy that pushes you and that has to put up barriers to protect you from what you don’t want in your life, what doesn’t define you.
People who try to get along with everyone show a great need for approval. Only then do they feel integrated, but if we just seek approval every day, we will stop being true to ourselves.
Psychologist Wayne Dyer said that 50% of the people we meet every day are very likely to have opinions contrary to ours. If you happen to know someone who doesn’t like or doesn’t like what you say, don’t worry – there’s another 50% of people who will support you.
When we are little, they educate us to the need to please everyone: smile, shake hands, sit down, don’t do this, don’t say that … We spend a good part of our life looking for approval, until one day, all of a sudden , we don’t realize that pleasing everyone is impossible.
Trying to please everyone will make you unhappy
Buddhist doctrines have told us this since ancient times: if you try to please everyone, the only thing you will get is suffering and unhappiness. It is not worth it, it is not necessary to please those with a selfish heart, those who do not recognize our value, those who lack nobility of soul or, simply, those who do not share your vision of the world.
If we think about it, nothing could cause us more stress and emotional pain than the obsession with pleasing everyone. Yet, we also know “not to like” can cause us various criticisms and reproaches.
You must understand that the criticisms they make of you are mainly due to those who address them to you, not to those who receive them. They do not define you, on the contrary: sometimes they are nothing more than a mere reflection of the frustration of those who criticize you.
Life is diversity, and each of us has nuances that make it unique and genuine. These are important traits to maintain if we are to preserve our dignity. Love yourself for who you are, love yourself for who you are.
Images courtesy of Jo Parry and Pascal Campion
