Breadcrumbing: The Latest Fashion To Leave Someone

William Shakespeare, one of the greatest writers in the history of mankind, said that “the wounds that are not seen are the deepest”. These wounds are precisely the consequence of a way of acting that risks becoming fashionable and which, unfortunately, has already achieved a certain popularity. We are talking about breadcrumbing.

Sometimes  humans are able to invent ways of dealing with reality that are truly unhappy or with little regard for our nature as beings with feelings. Some time ago, ghosting became popular as a way of leaving a person after one or more outings. It was characterized by creating emptiness and completely disappearing from the world of the person you wanted to leave. Now, it looks like this mode has been replaced by breadcrumbing. Let’s see what it is.

What is breadcrumbing?

Made popular mostly by social networks, this English word comes from the word breadcrumb , which means bread crumb. In practice this modality is put in place by people who send minimal signals to their partner or lover to let him know that he is still there, fueling the hopes that the relationship can go on, but knowing that it can never progress.

As we have said, this “technique”, to call it somehow, was born and raised mainly in social networks. However, it seems to go further. It is also about relationships in which physical encounters are established in which the other person is treated with kindness, but without arriving at anything concrete.

As the name suggests, the person leaves “bread crumbs” to create hope in the other. Inside, however, she knows that the situation will never reach a concrete point because she is not willing to bet on the story, thus causing considerable pain in the other, who will end up feeling very frustrated.

According to experts, this practice can cause anxiety and pain in the people who suffer from it. The signals they receive are ambiguous, so that at all times they have the feeling of being wrong, but without knowing why.

How to understand that you are a victim of breadcrumbing?

In reality it is a form of manipulation. It is therefore important to understand if you are a victim of breadcrumbing in order to stop it as soon as possible. It is therefore necessary to pay attention to the following points:

• If the partner is an unclear and concise person. When you propose a plan, he gives ambiguous answers such as “we’ll see” or “maybe”, but the realization never comes.
• He “shows up” very rarely. This means that weeks can go by without hearing from the person in question. However, he always leaves the door ajar, eventually comes back to look for you, but they never intensify the communication.
• Seeks an online interaction and often escapes physical intercourse, even if that’s not always the case. It creates a kind of “back and forth”, a flirtation that serves to keep you in suspense, but never takes the step to go further.
• It behaves erratically and incongruously. It can make you feel wonderful at certain times, but if you look closely, there are gaps in its behavior. He is a specialist in making you believe it is all a figment of your imagination.

• It is never the time to talk about feelings. Obviously he fears confrontation, and therefore no matter how deep you try, it will never be the right opportunity. He will give you an apology as to why he doesn’t try to intensify and deepen the relationship.

What to do if you are a victim of breadcrumbing?

It is not always easy to be aware of being a victim of such practices. However, we can find out if anyone is doing this to us. To do this, pay attention to the following:

• Analyze the situation objectively. Those who practice breadcrumbing make the other person feel guilty, who are usually insecure. However, it is necessary to analyze the situation as objectively as possible. Does it seem normal to you to hear from your partner only every two or three weeks?

• Do you really want a relationship where every time something isn’t right, you feel guilty? Do you think it is normal to have a relationship in which there is little or no intimacy regardless of how long it has been? Since you will surely answer in the negative, you already know this, it is necessary to take a step forward and put an end to the situation.
• Set limits. Even if the other person doesn’t want to deepen, speak clearly, and set boundaries. If he doesn’t react, then you know you are not having a healthy relationship.

Now you get to know this new form of relationship a little better. If something similar is happening to you, it is likely that sooner or later you will have to put an end to it, or the other will do it for you. Try to get out of it as soon as possible, otherwise it can cause you great suffering.