The Bitter Taste Of Infidelity
Infidelity is a responsibility both of the unfaithful person and of that object of infidelity. Because, once we learn about the betrayal, no one forces us to continue being with the person who betrayed us. And because each of us, deep down, knows who he is in front of and what he is facing.
All the people involved are responsible, some more, some less. In these situations, whims and lack of maturity are paid dearly. The unfinished business left on the road to growth, deferment and postponements … the unfinished business with themselves.
Be that as it may, infidelity causes great wounds, mainly in the betrayed person, but also a great sign in the person who committed the infidelity: those who are not reliable will hardly trust others. For this reason, in general, those who are unfaithful are extremely jealous.
People don’t change …
Normally, people who have embarked on a disordered life, full of ephemeral relationships and love triangles, will hardly stop doing this one day. In fact, the problem usually becomes chronic over time. With someone like that, you better not waste your time or your life.
Because love turns from something healthy into a vice, in the true sense of the word: a real perversion. The result: destroyed lives, resentful people, dashed hopes. Real human shipwrecks.
If you find yourself involved in such a relationship, you may miss the opportunity to experience true love. Not ideal love, but a relationship that brings you more joy than sadness. If you opt for this, don’t blame others for your misfortunes. Remember that you are free to choose who to love.
Love never begs
Disillusionment does not come precisely from infidelity, but from the lack of character to say: “enough is enough”. Many people make their existence an earthly hell.
In fact, what is probably working in you is some kind of parasitism. It is a replica of that phenomenon that occurs by nature, when one organism lives at the expense of another, obviously this is much worse, because we are talking about love.
It’s all a question of respect and self-love. A question of dignity and love for which one is and must come to be. Because you cannot “beg for feelings” and because everything you do, under these parameters, will always lack solid and strong roots.
If you build a building consisting of 10 apartments, but its foundations are weak, sooner or later the building will collapse. A love, when it is unfaithful and disrespectful to the other, can be forgiven, but it is not convenient to allow it or justify it, ever.
Infidelity is very often provoked
While it may seem harsh to you, infidelity is not caused by another person, but by oneself: when we voluntarily decide to fixate on the wrong person.
For example, if you know that a person is particularly likely to have more than one relationship at the same time, but you still decide to be with them, one way or another, you are agreeing and accepting all of your partner’s infidelities in advance.
Therefore, before complaining or falling into depression because your partner is unfaithful, you should analyze in detail why you allow it. The problem, as such, is not so much with the other person as with yourself. What is stopping you from breaking up that relationship, instead of being left in a situation with no solution?
Who is unfaithful, deceives himself
What we have just said does not mean that the unfaithful person is innocent. Absolutely not. It is the main culprit, although obviously everything that happens in a couple is caused by both.
There are those who claim to be unfaithful, but loyal, because their partner knows they have other relationships. However, that sincerity is only apparent, because not only infidelity depends on deception as such, but also on the effect it generates in the person with whom one has a “compromise”, to a greater or lesser extent.
This is perhaps not an act of “sincerity”, but of pure cynicism. Literally, what these people do is wash their hands of them; keenly and cunningly, they shift the responsibility for their conduct onto the other person.
“ ‘It’s your decision, you know how I am ,” they say with complete peace of mind, wickedly shedding their responsibilities. Unfaithful people are selfish in their essence, because they play to destroy their own life and that of others.
If the relationship is open, and both of them are adults, it’s their choice. However, if it is a situation where one takes advantage of the other’s insecurity or emotional dependence, we are not talking about a symmetrical relationship, but about psychological abuse.
If you don’t love and respect yourself, no one will be able to
Many men and women fall into this trap like rabbits. However, a love that allows and promotes infidelity is not healthy. Indeed, to be precise, it is not love.
A beautiful face and a beautiful body, beautiful words, gifts, loneliness, routine, boredom… unfortunately, there are millions of reasons to justify infidelity. What is certain is that once it occurs, the couple will never be the same again.
Not all infidelities mean that the couple is irrecoverable. There are no absolute truths, much less in love. The only thing we are sure of is that it all depends on the people involved, the circumstances in which the facts occur and how the couple is able to deal with them.
Can a betrayal be overcome? Yes, but if a commitment has not been respected, it will leave a bitter taste in the mouth and will demand a lot more from both sides to be able to move forward.
Images courtesy of Duk, Micao Shin, Pascal Campion.
