The Storm You Faced Brought You Back To Life
Much of who we are is determined by what we have experienced. We usually discredit the teaching that comes from the hardest experiences, without thinking about the positive change they have given us, but focusing only on the negative aspects.
We want to go back to how we were before terrible things happened to us, without considering that life inevitably puts us in the kind of situations from which we can come out defeated or stronger than before.
In reality, it is the dark times, the great disappointments and the unpleasant facts that reveal our true nature and make us stronger and more resilient. Random or not, sometimes this storm we have faced has given us life again. Paradoxically, without our ever expecting it, after experiencing great pain or disappointment, we find a calm that we never had.
The storms that transform us
If life was all downhill and simple, then it wouldn’t be life. If all people in the world were the same and wanted the same things, human relationships would be empty and there would be no motivation to fight and want to improve. Even if we imagine a society full of justice and equality, a wonderful thing that we all want, conflicts will continue to occur.
The lack of stability lies in the very nature that surrounds us and in our nature as human beings. Not knowing how to tolerate ambiguity, uncertainty and conflict is a fertile ground for developing psychological disorders. The myth of stable life is just that, a myth.
If we are aware of this, we will be prepared for the fact that abrupt changes and painful events are possible. Prepared and aware, never trained … in this lies the beauty and variety of human beings, in the way they know how to deal with good and evil.
The Kintsugi metaphor
Sometimes, when we have been through a painful situation or period, we believe that the most convenient thing is to glue our pieces in the best possible way and that we must hide our scars.
We want to get out of it at all costs, move on despite the pain, turn the page, be strong and show no signs of weakness. Nothing and no one must understand that one day we were weak, that we broke into a thousand pieces… This could give the feeling that we are fragile and that we can easily be hurt.
Western culture has a lot to learn from Eastern philosophies and what they teach about it: pain should not be hidden, we must not associate lack of pain with maintaining self-esteem. Having faced a difficult situation and having overcome it is a sign of pride and beauty.
When the Japanese repair broken objects, they enhance the damaged area by filling the cracks with gold. They are convinced that when something is damaged, it has a story and therefore becomes more beautiful.
The traditional Japanese art of repairing ceramic objects with strong glue and gold dust is called Kintsugi. The result is that the ceramic object is not only repaired, it is even stronger than before.
Instead of hiding flaws or cracks, these are accentuated and enhanced because they become the strongest part of the broken object. Kintsukuroi is the Japanese term for the art of repairing objects with gold or silver lacquer, to emphasize that the object is even more beautiful because it has broken.
The idea is that when something precious breaks, a great strategy consists in not hiding its fragility or imperfections and repairing it with something that replaces gold: strength, commitment, virtue … All this is proof of imperfection. and fragility, but also resilience, the ability to heal and recover
Great emotional storms bring something new
We don’t find out what an emotional storm implies for our life until we completely get out of it. There are also storms that recur from time to time, they do not completely disappear until we are able to face them, until we understand that the clouds will always shade, as well as the rays of the sun.
Once again nature gives us its true teaching: nothing is immutable and eternal, however calm and beautiful it seems. Changes are the only rule that always seems to be confirmed. In any area.
Once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you got through it, how you survived, in fact you won’t even be sure it’s all over. One thing, however, is certain, when you get through the storm you will never be the same person as before. This is the meaning of the storm.
Haruki Murakami
The next time a storm comes, then, it will be normal to be afraid, even if you continue to stand. If it tries to sink you, take this pain consciously and selectively, not in a passive or masochistic attitude.
It is the small details that can reveal many things about yourself that will be useful to you later on. Maybe all those little bruises showed you who or what hurt you.
Eventually, there are storms that are inevitable in this life. Once you find yourself in the middle, let yourself be soaked and maybe you will come up with cleaner ideas or directly with new ideas that will bring you back to life.
Images courtesy of Nathalia Suellen and Fairy Tales.
