There Are Doors That Are Best Closed Forever
Have you ever found yourself in front of a door only ajar? To a relationship that you are unable to completely end, and that keeps you in a situation of indecision for a long time? Sometimes we don’t break a relationship all of a sudden, but we try to break away slowly. We do not close the door completely, but we leave a crack open. It’s like having a wound that’s still half open and doing nothing to heal it.
It means being brave, taking responsibility for what happens after we make that decision. Sometimes we are afraid to do this, because we are not fully aware of the pain that a relationship is causing us or the emotional dependence that binds us to our partner.
Emotional addiction is an impetuous current that drags our self-love and does what it wants with it. There is nothing that can stop it. It is like a powerful and brutal tsunami. It tears down everything that stands in its path, even the foundations on which our own house is built.
Emotional addiction chains us to what hurts us the most
Our home should always be built on a solid foundation. They are the basic pillars, those of self-respect, self-love and self-care. If these pillars are not well established within us, we will end up looking for them outside. And we’ll sell out to anyone who shows us some love. The result will be that famous “I love you more than I love myself”: a wonderful phrase for a song, but capable of shattering any heart.
Loving another person is a wonderful thing, but we should never lose love for ourselves. Loving another person should never justify self-harming behaviors or behaviors that lead us to limit our freedom. This is a limit that should never be crossed. And when we talk about self-love, we are not referring to a narcissistic love, which makes us see nothing but ourselves: we are talking about that healthy love that makes us flee from what hurts us, instead of dragging us towards this painful dimension.
Denial is the mechanism that makes us carry on a harmful relationship
Very often the defense mechanism behind the decision to postpone the break, drag it over time or simply continue to postpone the moment in which we will address the issue is that of denial. Let’s close our eyes. We don’t look at reality. We overwhelm ourselves with excuses in order not to see things as they are and make a clear decision.
You will likely know people who have relied on denial in order not to face the consequences of a breakup. Finding ourselves alone, going through that phase of mourning that always occurs when we leave someone we loved, accepting that love cannot justify everything… These are inevitable consequences that we must face.
There are people who, in order not to accept reality, continue to carry on complicated relationships, which destroy their inner peace. Rather than being alone and closing the doors to that relationship that makes them feel so bad, they continue to suffer in silence. And the tsunami drags them with it. It turns them into puppets at the mercy of addiction and denial.
Close the doors to everything that hurts you and does not let you live in peace!
For all these reasons, there are times when it is best to end the relationship right away. Close that door without leaving it ajar for weeks, months, or even years. Leaving it ajar does not free us from addiction or blindness. So close it, don’t be afraid! And, if you have it, share it with the people who love you, otherwise do not hesitate to contact a psychologist, he can certainly help you.
We want to wish the best to all the people who find themselves in front of that ajar door and who deep down know that closing it completely is one of the best decisions they could make. As St. Augustine said, “Happiness consists in accepting with joy what life gives us and letting go with equal joy what life takes away from us”.
